Most hysterectomies are preceded by a long illness. This alone has probably caused stress on entire family. When the decision is made to have surgery this too can cause stress on the whole family. Emotions, caused by various things, can run high. It is important that you open up a line of communication with your children during this time.

Some children find it hard to voice their feelings, this can be encouraged by asking questions such as: Do you know what a hysterectomy is? If other family member have had surgery you can use that for a comparison. A word of caution is needed here if a family member has died in the hospital. Children, especially younger ones, can become incredibly fearful of the thought of Mommy going to the hospital because of this. It is important to give children an opportunity to discuss their feelings. Most children don't want the details about what a hysterectomy is so keeping your answers brief is easier on you and will satify them. This is not true in every case, especially of older children. One woman spent an entire day on the internet with her daughter pouring over every aspect of a hysterectomy. This may be true of medical conditions that run in families and where daughters become concerned for their future health. In these cases it is important to help daughters understand how your illness affects them.

Explaining going to the hospital

Children, at any age can become upset and frightened over their mother having to go to the hospital. Giving them an explanation, based on their age, is a good idea. Very young children, such as three or four are usually satisfied with the "Mommy has a boo boo" explanation. If you stress the positive aspects, such as "You know Mommy hasn't been feeling good. The doctors are going to make her feel better, and when she comes home we must take very good care of her" Statements like this can alleviate the stress the child feels knowing their mother is going away for a few days. Some women have taken their children to the hospital prior to their surgery to show them where Mom will be.

Taking children to the hospital

Taking children to visit Mom in the hospital should be weighed by the child's age, the mothers wishes and hospital rules. Some children find hospitals frightening. Those who are hesitant to go should not be pressed into it. The most important aspect is the wishes of the patient. A women is very tired and sore after surgery. If she is too tired or doesn't want visitors then it is best to just allow her this quiet time to begin recovery. Most women find times during the day that they have more energy, these might be a good time to call the children on the phone and assure them mom is okay. Usually hearing moms voice is enough for children to feel better about being away from her for a few days.

When Mom comes home

Preparing the child for the mothers return is also very important. Children can be a great help. Assigning them a task, appropriate to their age, can make them feel useful and be helpful to their Mom. Simple things such as getting mom a glass of water, tissues, remote control, telephone or picking up toys. It also needs to be pointed out to younger children especially, that it is important not to bump into moms abdomen when she comes home. She will also not be able to pick children up for several weeks after surgery and little ones should be told this before she comes home.

Teenagers

Teenagers can be an enormous help. Microwave meals, snacks and pre-made meals that are easily cooked can be handled by an average teenager. Assigning tasks such as dish washing, laundry, feeding the pets, taking out the garbage, and errands should be given out before Moms surgery. This makes things run much more smoothly when you get home.

A note to Teenagers

Not only can you, as a teenager, help pick up the slack while Moms laid up, you can also offer a great deal of help through emotional support. Spend some time with your Mom. One daughter did school work in advance of Mom's surgery so should could be home for a few days. Others gave up outings with friends and after school activities so they could be home. Some take over caring for younger brothers and sisters. Just answering the phone so Mom can rest helps. Whatever you do will help your Mom's recovery.