This is an area of concern for a lot of partners. Because the reproductive organs are affected many partners are confused as to what a hysterectomy will do to your sex life. There are no hard and fast rules or answers to many questions that arise after a hysterectomy. In this section we will try to provide some information to help you understand basic guidelines for post hysterectomy sexual activity and intercourse.

It is extremely important that you realize there is an emotional aspect to this. Women will act and react differently depending on their surgery, whether they have children or not, and the attitudes of the people closest to them. Be patient, be attentive, be honest about how you feel. When it comes time to resume sexual activity listen to each other. If you are worried you may hurt her, tell her. If you have other concerns, talk to her. It will make things much easier for the both of you if you both allow for an open honest line of communication. Intimacy should in no way be forced on your partner. Taking your time and respecting your partners wishes as to the time frame in which you both resume sexual activity is paramount.

Q. When can we resume intercourse?
A. A doctor usually gives the go ahead to resume intercourse about 6 weeks after surgery. Intercourse should not be resumed until your partner has been given the go ahead by her doctor and she has decided she is ready.

Q. Do we really have to wait until the doctor gives the okay?
A. Yes. The reason for this is that having intercourse prior to the doctors okay can cause serious damage and complications. Tissue that is not properly healed can tear or become infected which can lead to more surgery. That is why absolutely nothing should be placed in the vagina prior to the doctors release.

Q. Does that mean that we should not have any kind of intimate contact prior to doctors release?
A. This is a bit of a vague area. It is recommend that a woman speak with her doctor prior to resuming certain sexual acts. Orgasm very soon after surgery may be harmful. A sudden rush of blood to healing tissues and spasms associated with orgasm may not be good. Usually at about four weeks the tissue can handle this rush of blood. Some doctors will allow manual or oral stimulation (no penetration of any kind) at about four weeks, this, however, will depend upon what type of surgery, how well she is healing and her desire to engage in sexual activity.

Q. Is there any precaution we should take before?
A. If you are going to engage in oral or manual stimulation than washing your hands prior is a great idea. Once again let us stress that there should be no penetration of any kind before the docyor gives the go ahead. For oral stimulation it is very important that you brush your teeth and gargle with an antiseptic prior. This cuts down on the chances you may pass an infection from your mouth to the vaginal tissue, which still may still be fragile. If at anytime this becomes painful or uncomfortable it is best to stop and allow for more healing time.

Q. We are both ready to resume intercourse, now what?
A. Needless to say you both are probably nervous. Go slow. Make sure you have a little extra lubrication on hand such as KY Jelly or Astroglide. It is a good idea to wash your penis with warm soap and water as an extra precaution beforehand or even to use a condom. Deep penetration should be worked up to and not jumped right into. The tissues have been healing for about 6 weeks so they may be constricted a bit. The emotional aspect of this should not be over looked. Talk to each other to make sure whatever you are doing is inside each others level of comfort.

Q. Am I going to hurt my partner when we resume intercourse?
A. It may be a somewhat uncomfortable at first, but it should not be painful. If it is painful then you should stop and she should see her doctor. Once again talk to her. If you are concerned that you are hurting her, ask her. If you don't feel comfortable then you also should wait until you do.

Q. What do I do if she doesn't have any desire to have intercourse?
A. Wait. Because of the emotional aspects of the surgery some women take a little more time to resume intercourse. Once again forcing the issue is going to do damage, not just to her emotionally, but to the relationship. If it is a case of the desire is there but there is no drive than it could be hormonal imbalance, low hormone production or some other medical explanation. This is when she should consult with her doctor. There are not only pharmasutical drugs to help with this but also natural remedies that can be tried. It is best to be supportive of her as you look for an answer to this problem.